Navigating the move up to High School

The move from Year 6 to high school is a significant milestone in any young person’s life — and it’s not just them who feel this shift. For parents and carers, this transition can stir up a mix of pride, anxiety, and uncertainty.  It’s easy to think back to our own school-life experiences and feel worried for young people in our care who are moving into this space.  Suddenly, everything feels bigger: the school building itself, the academic pressures and homework, a new education framework and the social dynamics (including social media).

​

Whether your child is super keen to join Year 7 or is feeling overwhelmed by the uncertainty ahead, one thing is clear: starting high school is more than just a schedule change — it’s can feel like a huge transitional shift for the whole family.

​

This article aims to offer some ideas, practical and emotional strategies to help both young people and their parents or carers to prepare.  It might even be helpful to read through this together.

I’ve focused on some key headings: talking about the transition; managing nerves and coping with overwhelm.

​

​

1. Talk about the transition regularly - and NOW​​

Starting conversations well in advance of the new term starting is beneficial, it avoids last minute, not always helpful pep talks the night before school starts and means that the channel of communication is open and continual …

​

Some open questions like these could help to start up helpful chats:

​

“Is there anything that feels more scary than other things?”

“What are you most looking forward to?”

“What are you most unsure about?”

“What do you think will be most different about Year 7?”

 

Parents and carers  

The move to High School will create different feelings for you too, it’s okay to acknowledge these.  You can lead by example and let your young person see that change and transition are a normal part of life and feeling nervous or unsure are perfectly appropriate emotions to have.  

​

Young people pick up on the vibe of their close adults, so take the opportunity to model reassurance, calmness and positivity.
 

​

2. Managing nerves

Nerves are normal.  Feeling worried, queasy, anxious or overwhelmed about High School is to be expected. 

These feelings may differ in the lead-up to the term start and on the day itself.

Here are some ideas to help with each of these …

​

For young people

In the lead-up:

• => focus on what you can control, what can you familiarise yourself with beforehand?

  • School website - this will have loads of information and pictures of the school itself, classrooms, lesson outlines and contents, uniform, a typical school day etc.  

  • Make a plan - think about your timings for getting up, getting ready, having breakfast, travel to school.  You could create a ‘routine planner’ for yourself so you know what to expect.  This can include after school things too

  • Try the journey out - your travel time and way of travelling might be different - maybe you’re going on a bus, bicycle or walking.  Maybe you’re going to be picked up/dropped off each day.  Doing a run through to make sure you feel confident about the time and the route can help calm nervous feelings and help you to feel that there is more predictability in your day amongst so much change

 

In the days/night before:

• => focus on preparation and relaxation

  • Prepare your bag - get everything you need packed up so you’re not creating stress rushing around in the morning.  Familiarise yourself with where all of your equipment is.  High school puts more responsibility on young people ensuring they have what they need so this is a great habit to get into

  • Prepare your uniform/toiletries - have everything to hand so when you get out of bed in the morning it’s all there for you to put on, including hair/make-up/jewellery

  • Create a relaxing bedtime routine - have a lovely bath/shower, listen to your favourite music, watch your favourite TV/Films, chat with friends about what you are looking forward to.  Limit screens for at least one hour before bed (SORRY!!), this will help you get a better rest

  • Plan to meet friends - if it’s possible, arrange to meet up with friends so you can walk into the building together, this can help you to feel calmer and supported

 

For parents and carers

In the lead-up:

• => identify what accommodations you need to make

  • Plan new routines - as much as there are changes for young people, a different school can create change for adults too - you might have an additional school day to prepare for or an extra school drop-off to manage, which could impact on your morning plans.  Think these through and prepare in advance to help manage your own associated stress, for example is it possible to have a slightly lighter load yourself that week so you can feel more available to support the first few transitional days for your young person?

  • Be a positive voice - Often when talking about high school we focus on what young people might be worried about, focus on the fun aspects of high school like the different clubs available, possibility of new friendships or even new subjects you know your young person is interested in.  Create a ‘buzz’

  • Encourage good sleep hygiene - particularly in the 1-2 weeks before term start, support them to have a consistent bedtime and promote a calm approach to ‘lights out’ with as little ‘blue light’ interference (mobiles etc) as possible

 

In the days/night before:

• => keep calm and upbeat, be prepared

  • Your mood affects your young person.  Even if you feel unsettled, remain as much on brighter, lighter topics as you can

  • Support your young person to prepare their own bag/clothing in advance of the morning of term.  This will help to instil the habit that they are responsible for their equipment and ensuring they know where everything is for themselves

  • Plan a nice breakfast or agree an exciting tea that evening; having something to look forward to can help with nervousness

  • Try to build in extra time for getting to school or a drop-off point, last minute rushing around will only create stress and tension for all of you 

 

Another article that might interest you which looks in more detail at managing anxiety is: https://www.thelisteninglane.com/i-feel-anxious 

 

3. Coping with overwhelm

 

For young people

Firstly, allow yourself to feel worried or unsure. 

It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed when thinking about moving up to High School.  

 

It will be a new environment that is likely to feel totally alien to you at first - worries about finding classrooms and getting places on time are understandable.

There are new teachers, new class mates, moving around from place to place to a new timetable, more homework - it’s a lot.

 

You can’t get away from the fact it is a big change and it is normal to feel like it’s too much all at once.  But, there are things you can do to help yourself navigate this new chapter more easily:

• => Pace yourself and be ‘in the moment’

  • Keep talking - thoughts can get stuck if we don’t verbalise them.  If you notice the same thought pounding around your head driving you nuts, it’s probably because you need to speak it out loud to a safe person, maybe a close adult, close friend, a trusted pet - whoever you can talk to safely

  • It's one step at a time - you aren’t going to feel confident on Day One about knowing everything, where things are, which teacher is which, finding your way to places etc.  So give yourself a break and the time to build up new information and knowledge

  • Be kind to yourself - there is a lot of new stuff coming your way, you’re not going to get everything right straight away so give yourself permission to do the best you can in any moment and know that it is enough

  • It’s not just you!! - remember you’re not alone.  Even if others look super confident or are loud, boisterous, appear to have 100’s of friends, pretty much everyone is feeling nervous and unsure at some point.  You’ll find your way, your own group of people that suit you and a routine in school that will soon feel like you’ve never been anywhere else

 

For parents and carers

As parents and carers, we want the best for our young people.  We really want their experience at High School to be an overall positive one, but we have to acknowledge there will be challenges and upsets along the way, which will likely bring stress and tension to you too.

 

• You can’t control what happens when your young person starts Year 7 but you can show up in productive ways that can help influence things positively:

  • Offer steady presence - listen to their experiences, from their perspective.  Some of what they talk about may feel superficial or ‘not a big deal’ with your adult head but for them it is significant and meaningful.

  • Encourage independence - offer thoughtful guidance and options but steer away from ‘micro-managing’.  They may benefit from more help with time management as they experience greater loads of home-work and competing deadlines

  • Model healthy coping mechanisms - help them to develop a variety of skills that promotes calm in the face of overwhelm, this could be things like:

    • Mindfulness apps for teens (such as 'Calm', 'Smiling Mind' or 'Headspace')

    • Journalling or creative arts

    • Walking/outdoor time

    • Listening to music

    • Breathing exercises (such as on the 'Breathwrk' app)

    • Positive social time with friends (online and in-person)

​

Another article that might interest you which looks at more strategies for creating calm is: https://www.thelisteninglane.com/slowing-down-breathing-feeling-calm

​

In summary, preparing for the move into High School is a big step for everyone.  There are multiple stresses and strains that affect young people and their adults in different ways.  

 

This article has hopefully offered some practical strategies to help support families and some thoughts to help create conversations at home which will further help prepare everyone as much as possible.